OK, so here’s the answer you’ve been waiting for since the previous article. (Click here if you missed Part 1 of this article.)
Each of the 9 comments I shared with you came from people, who when sharing the life-changing choice they made, chose to share one they felt good about.
Except for Joe.
He told us of his choice to have an affair, and though he didn’t feel good about the actual life-changing choice he made, he still found and commented about the good that he felt came from the situation.
I’m going to suggest something controversial, and when I do, I expect to get comments from people who disagree with me (and that’s fine).
When I look at all the life-changing choices that were shared … I don’t see “good” and “bad” choices.
The choices themselves, even though they’re life-changing… are not good or bad.
They’re merely choices.
We’re the ones who attach meaning to them.
We’re the ones who decide that our choices mean something good or bad.
Last year on my blog, I openly shared my own story of how I got a DUI in 1997.
Talk about a life-changing choice!
Some would argue that was a bad choice on my part – and with all that transpired immediately following this particular choice; it could certainly be viewed that way.
And at the time, while I was in the midst of dealing with the fallout of my choice, I didn’t find a lot of good in it.
But today, as I look back on that life-changing choice, I can find lots of good in it.
And the reason I can find lots of good in it, is because I choose to attach good meaning to my DUI experience.
If I can do that with my DUI choice, isn’t it safe to say that I can attach any meaning I want… to any choice I make?
I know, I know – we’re starting to dig in pretty deep now.
This is probably one of the most in-depth discussions I’ve ever had in an article.
But I’m making a big, bold promise here in saying that I can walk you through a process that will make 2013 your best year ever.
And that’s exactly what we’re doing right now… going through the process.
So what do you say?
Do you believe that we can attach whatever meaning we want to the choices we make?
I asked my subscribers for feedback to this question, and here’s what one of them had to say. I believe it bears so heavily on this conversation, I had to share with you.
Here it is:
Great post (I agree with it)! But instead of barraging you with philosophical musings, I would like to ask you what steps you took to make a good meaning of past choices or regrets? Do you just brainstorm and pick ones that are good and forget the rest?
I’ll take the same example of a life changing choice I posted in your previous blog post: going to college.
- college meant financial debt
- college meant wasting 4 years studying something I wasn’t passionate about
- college meant wasting 4 years and being qualified for the same jobs as students from high school
- college meant gaining independence
- college meant learning to cut down on personal expenses
- college meant living poor so I can appreciate riches and luxury
- college meant learning to cook
- college meant sharpening my reading and writing skills
- college meant sharpening my public speaking skills
- college meant sharpening my interpersonal skills
- college meant stepping out of my comfort zone
- college meant trying new things
Is it as simple as telling yourself to forget the bad and remember the good?
Here’s my reply:
I LOVE your example. It’s not just remembering the good, but remembering what was not so good as well, and learning from it.
If we learn from it, then it transforms a bad experience into a good, or even a great experience.
In the simplest of terms, that’s how the “Life-Changing Choices Process” works.
We get to look at the results or consequences that arise from every choice we make, and actively decide how we’re going to respond to them.
We get to decide what meaning we’ll attach to the experience.
And ultimately, we get to decide how that choice will impact our life going forward.
We’re in complete control at all times.
So… as an example I’ll refer back to my DUI story.
When I first shared it on my blog on April 5th of last year, it took every bit of courage I could muster in order to candidly talk about it.
I’d never talked openly in public about my DUI and was deathly scared of what people would think of me.
But as soon as I shared my DUI story on the blog, I received a flood of response that completely transformed the entire situation in an instant.
Sure, I learned some valuable lessons from the choice I’d made to drive after drinking, so I’d already transformed that choice on one level.
But sharing my story on my forum, and having it impact so many people in such a big way transformed the experience once again.
Not only did I get to learn from it, but also got to use the experience to impact other people’s lives for the better, and that was HUGE.
It was in that moment that I discovered the “Life-Changing Choices Process” I’m now sharing with you.
It took 15 years from the time I got my DUI to completely transform that choice into a good experience.
But once I’d done so, and understood how to do it, I now had the ability to transform any experience.
The trick lies in doing it as quickly as possible so we can have all the benefits that come from transforming every one of our choices into experiences that will serve us in the way we want.
I’m betting that you’ve already done this in your own life, and encourage you to do so at every opportunity that you get. You can choose to transform any choice you’ve made into an incredible experience for you – even if it seems bad on the surface.
Kevin Thompson is known as “The Automatic Income Coach”. He is a small-town “average Joe” from Arlington, Washington who discovered the secret to having a home-based – worldwide business that runs on autopilot and gives his family the “dream lifestyle”… Now Kevin swears… “I’m On A Mission To Show YOU How I Did It,” And How You Too Can Have The Same Lifestyle For Yourself!
*Originally published as Issue #177 on March 13, 2013